It’s that time of year where I look back and try to remember what I’ve done and who I was throughout 2022.
Based on how I’ve been feeling lately, I was expecting to find and get stuck in remembering all the muck.
There have been deaths, health scares, job changes, prescription issues, insurance changes and education demands. There’s also been mothering a kid who is about to enter the last year of his pre-teen era. It’s required a great deal of creativity and more patience than I feel I possess at times. (Until I remember that he’s got the best mama he’s gonna get in this lifetime, and I’m resourceful.) And I’m still working, learning, and living in the same house as my menfolk every single day since March 2020. Every. Single. Day.
While I love that we’re able to do this and, mostly, it’s been working for us, it can still take a toll on my already RA-depleted energy reserves.
And my tonsils acting a fool have also been a major energy suck.
(With no surgery date in sight for my tonsillectomy, I named these fleshy masses that demand my constant attention. They’re also the size of newborn babies, so I figured it was time. My pain may, or may not, make me exaggerate. But my pain also has a dark sense of humour, so my right tonsil is now called Bye and the big baddie on the left is called Bitches.)
BUT then I went back and read all the notes I’d sent you this year and I was surprised/delighted by all of the amazing things that have happened, too!
So, I figured I’d take you on a walk down memory lane that may bring up some of your own happy memories. Or at the very least you may find something new to watch, read or listen to if you click on each link and scroll all the way to the bottom.
First, the mantra, intention doesn’t negate impact has served me well coming into, and throughout, this year. I’m going to hold on to it for a while longer.
I’ve told you before that we need to talk about suicide. After learning of tWitch’s death by suicide last week (it hit me hard), I want to remind you of a story I shared at the beginning of this year because the work of “staying safe for now” (a term I learned in my suicide first aid training) is ongoing.
And it’s worth mentioning that talking about suicidal ideation can sometimes lead to a vulnerability hangover. So let me remind you that you are not alone and why it’s important to share our stories.
You listened to a story about my hair and a woman named Sue. (Thank you to B. and T. for sharing your kind words with me after listening to it. You two were the closest people I know to Sue, and I was too afraid to invite you to the original show because I didn’t think I’d be able to get through it without crying if you were in the audience.)
You even made your way through the story about how I welcome in February, and once tortured my midwives.
OMG, I sent a bunch of words to Roxane Gay!!!
Then we all learned what happens when I check email really late/early.
My first story got published. And I was mentioned in another book! (And look who I get to hang out with on the page.)
I had a fling with Eurovision. (It’s still going strong.)
Thank you for how you responded to an early draft of something I’m still working on. (Because it’s not quite where I want it yet.)
A story of mine made a long list. (And I’m grateful I dyed that dress a wine colour after taking that picture.)
Next it made it onto the short list.
Then it was highly commended in the Bath Flash Fiction award!
And this is how it ended.
Thankfully, I now know more soup slurping and sweater weather people.
I started baking bread. And I’ve finally landed on a recipe (I combined a few) that has helped me find some consistency in my bread making week after week! And why didn’t anyone warn me that sourdough is a gateway to making more home ferments? I’m a few days away from enjoying homemade sauerkraut and a ginger bug. A few weeks away from trying my preserved lemons. But my kimchi is done and delicious! (Thank you E. for sharing this recipe with me—my nausea forced me to leave the fermented shrimp out though. I’m grateful I didn’t go back to following the sad white-women-yoga-teachers’ recipe I once made years ago. Thankfully, I was able to ditch that awful kimchi on a potluck table that different white-women-yoga-teachers gobbled up. I have no regrets.)
Another reminder that I don’t shy away from the fun messes of life… or sharing them with you when I feel so inclined.
And I’m only slowly coming back down to Earth after being surprised by a Pushcart Prize nomination. (Thank you for celebrating this with me.)
Of course, there’s so much more that happened in my life that didn’t make it into any of these notes.
Some of it’s been messy. Some of it’s been fun. And it’s all shaped who I am now.
I think for the better.
What’s next? This will help me explore what’s next.
What about you? What has surprised you this year?
Thank you for being here. It brings me so much joy to write to you.
Happy Solstice.
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PPS. The Girls at The Back (Netflix) I almost turned this off halfway through the first episode because as much as the show intrigued me, I was also highly annoyed by it. Also, the subtitles were flying by and I was struggling to keep up. But I’m so glad I took a chance and kept going! This short series had me belly laughing and crying. I loved how the story is presented – it’s unique and it forced me to pay attention. It still managed to surprise me.
Wednesday (Netflix) Another surprise hit that I wasn’t expecting to enjoy, but I did.
Big Boys (Channel 4) is a short but powerful series about people being decent to each other while also tackling topics like mental health, grief, depression, sexuality, and the friendships that help these characters get through it all. It’s funny and beautiful. And a second season is coming!
Stutz (Netflix) This one also surprised me in a good way. There’s a part where Jonah Hill calls his therapist out on something part way through and the way his therapist responds made me rewind and watch it again because it touched me deeply. The relationship between the two of them is what kept me watching.
Sort Of (CBC) A third season is coming! A third season is coming! I love this show so much.
My achy knees aren’t happy that Spotify recommended this Motivation Mix to me a couple of days ago, but my heart is.