I believe in the healing powers of Eurovision
And a reminder for when you’re dealing with your Black friends
This piece has been powered by this Eurovision 2022 playlist.
On repeat.
For hours.
My first exposure to this magnificent beast that is Eurovision only happened last year. With my friend, Ulrika, acting as my makeshift concierge, sharing her favourite songs and performances, my kid and I watched it on YouTube.
We both found new music, but I thought it would be a one and done experience for us. A fun one for sure, but I didn’t know if his enthusiasm would carry over to this year.
But holy hell, did it ever! He even reminded me of his ongoing love for Iceland’s song from last year’s show.
We watched the replays of the First and Second Semi-Finals and the Grand Final. The availability of these videos may depend on where you are in the world. Some friends in the US couldn’t access some of them.
Watching the replays, instead of live, helped us:
Fast-forward our way through boring sections.
Catch just enough of a potential rivalry between two of the hosts to entertain us.
Point out parts of Italy I’ve actually seen in person, but my kid has only seen in the pictures I took when I was 16. As I write this, I can’t believe my parents let me go to Europe with a group of (basically) strangers when I was ONLY five years older than my son is now!!! (And now I’m remembering a load of stories from that trip that I should tell you!)
Re-watch performances we loved or didn’t give enough attention to.
My kid started a list of his favourite performances, and we were both impressed when most of them made it through to the final!
Since the weekend, both of us have been listening to the Eurovision 2022 playlist on repeat and have been infected, in quick succession, by the same earworms. The songs from Ukraine, Portugal, Netherlands, Sweden, Estonia, Moldova and Norway have been the most contagious. But we’re falling in love with all the songs as we listen again and again… and after tracking down lyrics, which has only deepened our appreciation.
Not only did I get to make some sweet memories with my kid this weekend (he’s awesome to hang out with!), but I know that more are coming because he’s already wondering when Eurovision 2023 will air!
So why am I sharing my love for Eurovision with you?
Simply because it’s brought me joy.
And I thought I’d share it because I’ve needed doses of joy to keep myself afloat recently.
I’m sure you’re aware of the most recent tragedies in the world. The kinds of tragedies that easily reopen wounds that never had a chance to even scab over. The kind of wounds that many Black, Brown and Indigenous people unfortunately know too well.
The wounds that some people aren’t skilled to recognize/acknowledge/understand because they’ve just never had to deal with them…
So, instead, they send unsolicited generic and jarring messages that say something along the lines of, “I’ve been thinking of you because of [insert any violent racial murdering spree here]. No need to respond, I just wanted you to know.”
You know the ones that contain little substance but make the sender feel warm and fuzzy while delivering a sucker punch to the receiver.
I had wished that these types of “well-intentioned” messages would come to an end after receiving many of them shortly after George Floyd was murdered. Catch yourself up on my thoughts and feelings about how intention doesn’t negate impact.
My wish hasn’t come true.
A few days ago… and less than an hour before I was supposed to go on a virtual stage to do something I was excited about… another such message landed in my inbox.
I made the mistake of reading it. (It had a sneaky subject line that made me believe it might contain time-sensitive information about the event.)
This “well-intentioned” message pulverized my excitement and left me with a bulky bag of mixed emotions that I’m still trying to sort through.
And yet, I still did the thing I had agreed to do.
Even forced enthusiasm (probably poorly) because I just wasn’t feeling it.
I’m aware of the irony of me faking my way through the event because I was worrying about who I thought other people expected me to be… all while I was talking about no longer being obsessed with worrying about who I’m expected to be.
So perhaps this is a good time to remind you of the article Before You Check In On Your Black Friend, Read This. It was written two years ago, but obviously it’s still relevant.
From the article: (but go read the entire piece)
“Other good questions to ask yourself before reaching out: Is sending this message an action rooted in tokenism? Why are you doing it? For yourself, for you to feel like you've "made an effort"? Or is it really for the sake of your Black friend and their wellbeing?”
Please note that sharing this article with you is the only effort I’m willing to extend at this time about this subject.
This may surprise you, but it takes a ridiculous amount of energy to decide if, or how, I’ll respond to messages like these. Sure, many of them I ignore. But some senders, and messaging, are more challenging for me to ignore.
I’m hard-wired to wonder how to navigate any potential fallout no matter how, or if, I respond. Plus, I still have a tendency to waste time berating myself for not taking better care of myself after receiving these messages, for contorting myself in situations so I wouldn’t be seen as a problem, and for forfeiting my comfort for someone else’s.
And don’t forget all the time and energy I need so I can listen to the Eurovision 2022 playlist for company while I navigate my way through all of that.
Ahem… this is my polite way of telling you that I’ve got capacity to hear about your favourite Eurovision songs for the next few days and not much else.
Enjoy the rest of your day.
PS. I couldn’t stop watching Heartstopper (Netflix)!!! It’s so lovely. I let out an annoying “aw!” each time two of the main characters gave each other a life-giving hug!
Season four of Lego Masters Australia did not disappoint! Just like The Great Bake Offs, the Australian version of this franchise is my fav.
PPS. The next live, but virtual gathering for Exploring Creative Connection is happening on Sunday, June 5th.
We'll chat, connect, probably laugh, and I'll give you an additional prompt or two so you can flex your creativity muscles.
