The thing about updates

And the connection that they can build.

It feels like so much has changed since I last wrote to you… and like not enough has changed.

And that has made me feel weary and stuck.

It’s made me question, and doubt, what exactly I want to share with you. Especially when I feel like I’m full of complaints and very little wisdom and can’t seem to hold on to joy for more than a few hours at a time.

But then I thought that even when my friends are having a rough time, I want to hear from them. I eagerly await an update. No matter how long it’s been since I’ve heard from them last. And no matter what type of news they want to tell me about their life. Just hearing from them can lift my spirts and remind me I’m never really alone.

Image Description: A close up picture of Olwen’s tabby cat Lady Dianna perched on top of Olwen in the morning. This is how Dianna checks to make sure Olwen is alive each morning before she moves on to bother someone else.

So… here’s my update. (And please know that you can respond to this email, or add a comment below, if you’d like to share your own update with me. I’d love to read it.)

My hearts breaks even more when a person speaks as if the pandemic is over. (I cheered out loud recently when Wes Hall, the first Black ‘Dragon’ investor on the Canadian reality series Dragons’ Den, reminded his fellow Dragons, that [I’m paraphrasing] only rich people say that the pandemic is over because their wealth often shields them from the harshest effects of it. YES, YES, YES! I’m still feeling its effects.)  

I’ve got my own chronic illness that has helped me deal, in a lot of ways, with the pandemic. And it’s still challenging. So, while Esmé Wang wrote about “lessons for a global pandemic from a permanently sick person” over two years ago, it includes several glorious reminders that can still improve your life.

I don’t always have the energy to explain (again) why I’m (still) not going to indoor events, even though I’d still be wearing a mask. (And why I’m impatiently waiting for Black Panther: Wakanda Forever to stream somewhere because I’m not going into a theatre to see it—I’m taking every precaution so that it’s not me or my health that keeps me from having a surgery I need.)

My vote in a recent municipal election helped keep out most of the creeps who made hate their primary campaign promise. But barely.

To boost my mood once the time shifted back to darkness, the twinkle lights in my living and dining room get plugged in as soon as the sun goes down. I’ve even restocked my supply of beeswax candles to create a cozy ambiance during the winter months when my cats will hold me hostage under a blanket and a book.

We had our first snowfall! Unfortunately, it didn’t stick around long enough, so we’re now on the 3,672 consecutive day of my neighbour running his leaf blower for hours to celebrate the end of his workday.

My friends and family are (still) dealing with a lot of death.

My kid continues to amaze me. His teacher this year has been a tremendous support by showing me even more ways to appreciate him. I’m being introduced to people who only seem to want the best for him, and my kid just keeps on shining. It’s beautiful to be around.

I’m still waiting for a lot of things. Mainly medical things.

• It’s not looking good for me having a tonsillectomy within the six-months window my ENT still quotes to all her patients (even though her office let it slip that she’s had several surgery dates cancelled recently due to staff shortages at the hospital—I’m not surprised). My tonsils are competing to see which one of them can become the biggest, and meanest, first. And neither of them care about how their behaviour is impairing my hearing, changing my voice and increasing my pain.

• A piece of glass picked a fight with my bare foot in my kitchen. The broken glass won. The one who can’t be tagged cleaned up the bloodshed and cared for my wound. (I’m celebrating me not passing out… even though I was the one to pull the glass chunk out of my foot!) It took a few days, but I think we got all the glass out and I could finally join my menfolk for one of our walks I had to skip while I healed.

• I’ve got another one of these scheduled in a couple of weeks and you know both the procedure, and the waiting for results, are always SO much fun (heavy on the sarcasm).  

• I’ve got my fingers crossed that the RA flare I’ve been dealing with for weeks is ending.

Image Description: A shadow selfie of Olwen and her two menfolk against a sidewalk and an interlocking brick driveway. Each person’s shadow is waving hello. (The one who can’t be tagged starting waving in these years ago. Claims it makes him look more friendly.)

But also bread things. (Florence is going strong!)

• I’m making bread weekly now and I love it.

• I’m making pancakes weekly now and I love it.

• I made croutons yesterday out of the leftover bread I had made. Based on how quickly they made their way into my belly, I’m likely to make these weekly, too.

And writing things.

• I shelved a big writing project I was excited about. I soon discovered that it was going in a different direction than I initially thought it would, and almost immediately, my interest in it vanished. I tried to revive it. Even gave it a little distance, hoping the “absence would make the heart grow fonder”, but my enthusiasm for this project no longer has a pulse.

• Thankfully, putting it aside made room for new writing ideas to grow that excite me, so I never really stopped writing.

So, that’s what’s new with me.

How are you doing?

All the best,

Olwen

PS. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Louise Penny’s Gamache books. Usually, new books of this series end up being released each year near the end of August, so I’d enjoy spending my birthday with Chief Inspector Armand Gamache and the other characters in the charming and fictional town called Three Pines. This year, the latest novel (#18), A World of Curiosities, comes out on November 29!

And then there’s a new TV series, based on the Gamache Books, called Three Pines (Prime Video) that begins airing on Dec. 2!!! Alfred Molina’s is Gamache, and I hope it ends up being the perfect match I really want it to be! (I appreciated reading Louise Penny’s thoughts on the series and casting.)

I yelled at so many contestants on Love is Blind 3 (Netflix). So many. More than I’ve yelled at any other contestants on any of the previous seasons combined. I targeted most of my damnation toward the many man-babies on the show. I paused it many times. SO many. Mainly so that my menfolk had no other option than to listen to me rant about how problematic I find the show and people’s behaviour. And yes, of course, I’ll be watching the next season too.

The Devil’s Hour (Prime Video) held my attention for all eight episodes that I watched in one sitting. However, I must remember to mention that it scared me a few times and made me question if I should continue watching it at night. I regret not mentioning this to a friend recently. (Sorry again.)  However, it is important for you to know that both of us are grateful that we persevered because it blew our minds!!!

From Scratch (Netflix) fucking ruined me for days. My collection of snot-and-tear-soaked Kleenex grew to towering heights as I binged my way through to the end. For days after I’d finished it, I’d burst out crying at random times just because I’d thought about it. Really, anything I watch where a partner or parent is sick and might die and leave people behind hits a little too close to my own fears living with a chronic illness who wants as much time as I can get with my menfolk and cats. So, stories that include this just twists up my guts and makes me cry almost instantly. But they’re also equally satisfying because it’s nice to see it being discussed. Especially when it’s done well. I learned it was based on a true story partway through watching it. I’ve also heard the book is better (it usually is) so now this memoir is sitting on top of my to-be-read pile. (I’ll likely read it when I’m feeling like I need another good cry!) Now, while the show was a little clunky at times, I really loved how they represented love and the many ways it’s shown between people. As well as how they handled death and showcased the ways that families (chosen or blood) can make your life a living hell sometimes, while they also love you in ways that delight you.

A few months backed I shared that a certain Electra Rhodes’ Twitter thread was a “must read” (most of hers are, really). But the one I’m talking about now was about an event that happened over thirty years ago when “…[she] got caught up in a drama that results in a divorce, two marriages and many changed lives. And all because the person in front of her on the street, had a heart attack. Well, now you must listen to a recording of Electra sharing her story over the radio because it makes the story even more delightful. Plus, it’s full of beautiful reminders that I never get tired of hearing.

One of my favourite books is They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera. It’s a beautiful and tragic tale, with two adorable main characters full of heart. Reading it will make you question how you’d spend your last 24 hours of life, if not your whole life. It’s a story that has stuck with me. Even though I read it years ago. So, imagine hearing me scream out in excitement when I recently stumbled upon its prequel, The First to Die at The End! Unfortunately, I can’t give you a review of it yet since a few other people placed a hold on my library’s copy before I did.

Have you watched The Big Brunch (HBO Max) yet? The contestants and judges are kind. The passion these contestants have for food, and farmers is stunning. And any cooking show where the judges tend to eat most of a dish presented to them before judging is doing something right!