In just a few days, me and my tonsils will finally part ways!
I’ve been given four different surgery times, but the date has not budged, so I take that as a good sign that it’s going ahead as planned!
There will be a few weeks of recovery, and I’m hoping it will be smoother than what this doctor predicted. Thank you for all of your well wishes!
I’m nervouscited1 about the surgery, and recovery, while also walking around with a big ol’ grin on my face because after years of dealing with this issue, relief is finally within reach.
And since I’m even closer to sweet relief, my creative energy seems to be revving again! Honestly, it never leaves me, but some days it acts like a groggy teenager I have to drag out of bed because they don’t give a damn about going to their calculus class at all, never mind on time.
Story ideas are flooding in and I’m jotting them down on post-it notes, making myself voice memos, and typing them into various apps on my phone to try and capture them all. I’m not worrying about what I’ll do with any of them at the moment. But I also don’t want to ignore them.
I’m setting up mini, and highly portable, creative activities I can turn to when I know I’ll be restless from all the resting I’ve got planned.
My visual journaling supplies are ready and waiting for me.
Books, and more books, are piled high and ready to topple onto any cat who looks at them funny.
Unfortunately, this past weekend I went ahead and darned all the clothing I was setting aside for later because it was the only thing I found helpful to get my mind to stop adding tasks to my surgery and post-op prep lists.
Then I moved on to thinking about delightful things that may help me navigate the next few weeks. Like fluffy blankets, ALL the pillows, fruity popsicles, peppermint foot balm to massage my feet, a writing group that welcomes me to show up, be off camera and muted if I’m craving some company, friends who know what snacks to deliver to my porch and when I’m going to need them (S, remember nothing red!), and friends who are up for reading to me over the phone on short notice.
Which made me remember a few recent delights that have helped me navigate the messiness of life over the last few months. I’d like to share some of those things with you now:
I’m currently sitting with 11 rejections for one story I absolutely love, but apparently some publishers don’t feel the same. It’s also making me second guess the other stories I was planning on submitting soon. So, knowing that my Pushcart Prize nominated story is now published in the latest Bath Flash Fiction anthology titled Dandelion Years is a much needed boost!
I recently listened to two different podcast episodes back-to-back and I think they complement each other beautifully.
The first one is by my friend, Anna Toonk, over on How to Be Human. She had a delightful conversation about enchantment with Katherine May and I basically nodded along in agreement with everything they discussed. It’s a real treat to find people I resonate with. Thankfully, I’m already reading Katherine’s latest book, Enchantment: Awakening Wonder in an Anxious Age.
The second was the Rick Rubin episode, Magic, Everyday Mystery and Creativity of the On Being Podcast with Krista Tippett. I’d been hearing nothing but rave reviews and it lived up to the hype! And yes, I’m enjoying Rick Rubin’s book, The Creative Act: A Way of Being even more after listening to the podcast.
Ted Lasso (Apple TV+). Trying to figure out what will happen in each new episode of the third season, and then analyzing what did happen after watching it, has become one of my new favourite hobbies. I’ve got SO many theories, but I won’t share any spoilers in case you aren’t caught up. Just know I’m loving it and I suspect this will yet another satisfying season in the end. Don’t forget to make some biscuits to enhance your viewing pleasure.
Tulsa King (Paramount +). This show is more charming than cheesy and it made me giddy and nostalgic because I grew up watching Sylvester Stallone beating up basically everyone. I dance along to the main title sequence every time I hear it. I’ve lost count how often I screamed “You’re gonna get punched,” whenever another character was being an ass, or cheered when Stallone proved me right. And I really hope there is more of “stoned” Stallone in season two!
The Last of Us (HBO). What a ride! I wasn’t familiar with the video game before I started watching, but this series can stand on it’s own. I avoided it for weeks because I’m not a fan of most things I suspect may be categorized as “scary” or “horror”. But then episode three aired and I heard so many lovely things about it so I decided to be brave and watch the show from the beginning. I’m so glad I did! The series is definitely intense, I needed to distract myself with my phone more than once to get through some parts, but the characters and what they did with the story hooked me quickly. Bella Ramsey and Pedro Pascal are superb. So are many of the other actors cast in the production. (And based on how much Pedro Pascal shows up on my Instagram feed… I have absolutely become obsessed with him, like many others. Even though he’s only a few years older than me, I’d have zero issues with him calling me “Baby Girl”.)
Shrinking (Apple TV+). What a cast! What a series! Especially one that explores so many forms of grief! Jessica Williams and Harrison Ford are the highlights for me.
Books. I’m still struggling to read an entire book in a short-ish period of time. I know this happened for many people beginning in March of 2020, but for me, my ability to concentrate on one book from start to finish has not fully returned. For the longest time, I couldn’t read anything more than a couple of sentences. Eventually, I was able to read an article. Then a short chapter of a book. Making notes about what I’m reading helps to hold my focus, but it slows me down even more. Now, I tend jump between a few books I’m reading at a time. And because I’m giving myself space to read them slowly, all the info from each of them swirls around in my brain building beautiful connections that I might not have made if I choose to be monogamous with one book. So, in addition to the two books I’ve listed above, the following are some of the other books I currently have in my reading mix:
Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price PhD. It’s filled with beneficial information (from research, interviews with real people not just “specialists”, and personal experiences) so you’ll have a better understanding of the spectrum of neurodiversity, how and why someone may or may not seek out an official diagnosis (with no judgements made about which is best), creating a neurodiverse world, and so much more. I highly recommend this one for everyone.
Black Women Writers at Work edited by Claudia Tate. Reading this book makes me think back to all the times as a kid I’d sit dead quiet so the grown-ups would eventually forget I was in the room… and I’d become privy to their secrets! It’s also full of reminders that Black Women are not a monolith. This one is a balm for my soul.
Hospicing Modernity: Facing Humanity’s Wrongs and the Implications for Social Activism by Vanessa Machado de Oliverira. It was recommended by the same person who gifted me this amazing book that I continue to return to. (Thank you, C! You have good taste!) The preface alone puts a smile on my face because of the author’s awareness, honesty and she doesn’t shy away from exploring the nuance and complexity of a situation. Plus she wrote this: “Since this book is about expanding our collective capacity to hold space for difficult and painful things, I cannot say, “I hope you enjoy this book.”…What I wish for is for you to learn to feel comfortable with the nausea and discomfort of difficult learning as soon as possible. Then, I promise you, it will be much easier to enjoy the ride.” YES! YES! YES! But you MUST read beyond the preface. And know that the author also offers up a peer supported pathway if you need support to process what this book may stir up for you.
Voice First: A Writer’s Manifesto by Sonya Huber. I was curious about the author’s work initially because she too lives with rheumatoid arthritis/disease. But what she writes about in this book became a remedy I needed when someone I once respected told me that I would have to make my “writer voice” more like [an ableist white man who spends too much time showing his ignorance and refusing to expand his awareness] to be successful. And I’m sure I’ll return to Sonya’s alternative pain scale more than once during my recovery and beyond… because pain scales are fucking useless indicators, always, but even more so when you live with chronic pain.
The Art of Brevity: Crafting the Very Short Story by Grant Faulkner. This one is helping me hold on to these story ideas that are currently popping up for me instead of dismissing them like I have in the recent past.
This short clip about how “books are good medicine,” and what you can do if you have an issue with a book is awesome. I wish this was played on repeat before every school board meeting I’ve unfortunately sat through in my area.
A Walk Through James Hannaham’s Brooklyn is an interview that is long and full of nuggets of wisdom and hope. It took me on a lovely journey.
Kai Cheng Thom’s article, Kids Deserve a New Gender Paradigm is a MUST READ!
Alright, my mind is insisting I get back to triple checking all of my “prepare for surgery” lists every hour until they wheel me into the operating room.
Feel free to distract me with your own list of delights while I wait!
Enjoy the rest of your day.
A combo of nervous and excited.
In a parallel universe and hopefully someday in this one you and Katherine May are besties I swear.