How do you get through the week?

How do you replenish your energy buckets?

Last week, I felt like I was on top of the world. I:

• Connected with people I hadn't seen in a while.

• Met new people who are doing great work in their communities.

• Was honoured to have someone request that my art be used as inspiration for other work.

• Was loving my kid's new classroom and teacher as much as he was.

All while our Canadian Federal election made more headlines than the guy who (finally) has impeachment looming over him.

I had to feel all the feels around another white guy try to apologize his way out of who knows how many racist acts, and all the stupidity that comes from the parties on the right who for a brief second want us to forget all the harm they've done to Black and brown people.

Then social media and all of its perfect people made me feel guilty over the single-use plastics that I'm not able to give up (I'm talking to you injectable medication and all the paraphernalia that you require). And I wondered if I could make it to a few local climate change protests but my rheumatoid arthritis screamed "NO, NO, NO" like the obnoxious toddler that it can be at times.

So there were some highs and some major lows that I had to contend with. And then some of those highs blew up too... so that was fun to try and navigate.

I got stuck in those lows for longer than I want to admit, but it's my truth.

I'm a biracial Black woman living with a chronic illness. A tonne of privilege is extended to me because I have lighter skin. Also because I'm cis-gendered, hetero, married to a white guy, and I’m mainly able-bodied, etc. And yet, there's still a lot of muck that I've got to wade through.

So, here's the thing. This is what I try to remember to do when I'm struggling.

I Actively Seek Out Pleasure And Joy Whenever I Can.

It's not an easy task, and I question my sanity at times when I’m luxuriating in whatever makes me happy while the world is burning around me.

However, I know that if I don't, my spirit will break, my energy will wane and I'll be doing exactly what some people hope I'll do. Which is, go away, stay hidden, and wait for them to come for me and the people I love.

Below you'll find just a few ways where I choose to seek refuge to refill my energy buckets so that I can deal with a difficult conversation, correct a falsehood, and speak up even when I'm the only one who seems to have an issue.

I'm listing them out by my senses...

TOUCH:

• Massage my face.

  • I started soon after I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis because my face was one of very few body parts that didn't constantly hurt.

• Dried paint on my fingers.

  • This means I've had a chance to create something.

• Sheepskin slippers on my feet.

TASTE:

• Roasted Brussels sprouts, broccoli, beets, rutabaga and onions.

• The salty sweat on my kid's forehead when he allows me to give him a kiss.

• My friend's impromptu chicken pesto dish.

  • I LOVE when someone cooks food for me.

SIGHT:

• Indoor plants.

  • My horticultural therapist friend once gave me a kokedama to help with my healing years ago. While the kokedama didn't make it, the healing benefits of looking at and enjoying plants stuck around. Just ask the mini jungles that are popping up around my home.

• Ultramarine (one of my favourite colours)

• Binge-watching a series that delights me.

HEARING:

• Anything by Michael Kiwanuka

• Anything by Joy Oladokun

• The beat of a djembe

SMELL:

• The top of my cat's head after she's been sitting near the open window

• Sandalwood

• An outdoor fire

These are just a few examples of how I rest and reset. They help me gain the strength to walk away when I can't take any more abuse or neglect. In doing so I get closer to what I want instead by taking some time to dream it into reality. Or simply to regenerate my armour.

How do you care for yourself?

What would be on your list if you considered your senses?