A verdict, a dead dishwasher and an almost winning story.
Details about my soon to be published story in an upcoming anthology are here.
After a(nother) ridiculous (but not surprising) verdict was announced last Friday, my dishwasher did what I wish I could do sometimes.
It gave up.
In the most dramatic way possible.
In the middle of its wash cycle, it flung its door open, not caring who was around and spit hot fire water into our kitchen. Thankfully no one, kid and cats included, were harmed.
Based on the many repairs needed to keep our dishwasher’s weak pulse beating over the years, we knew the end was near. This is why a few days before its demise, a new one was delivered and hopefully, by the end of today, it’ll be installed.
And even though we were expecting the dishwasher’s death, it startled us and definitely raised the excitement level in the house for a while. But afterwards, it all just felt kinda sad.
Just like the verdict.
This rollercoaster of emotions can arrive even when you’ve been paying attention and think you’re prepared.
When something goes horribly wrong (or as designed when it comes to institutions built to uphold white supremacy) and after the initial shock disappears, we’re left to deal with the aftermath.
The clean-up required afterwards isn’t often dramatic at all. Instead, it’s done rather quietly, almost in secret, or it’s simply ignored and rarely celebrated. And in my experience, I can still be surprised when it doesn’t go as I expected.
And of course, not everyone is willing, able or capable to even acknowledge the mess that needs to be dealt with in the first place. All of this can add a whole new level of complexity to what you’re trying to accomplish.
But the work still needs to be done.
So, in our home, after our dishwasher’s tragic end, all the dishes were hand-washed, the cooling pools of water were mopped up and the remaining water in the base of the dishwasher was drained. It didn’t even take as much time or effort as we thought it would. I won’t say it was fun, but the mess had to be addressed.
This brings me to the work I’ve been doing with my writing.
A few months ago, I dove back into writing and quickly found myself feeling excited and overwhelmed.
I have some real and imagined blocks that prevented me from wholeheartedly embracing the title of “writer”. Thanks to my son’s wisdom, I have no problem calling myself an artist but I stubbornly refused to use that same logic to call myself a writer.
And yet, I was being invited into a couple of writing groups, a few workshops and I’ve even been asked to be a part of an upcoming writer’s panel. I’ll share more info soon but it’s currently scheduled for January 2022.
While I was delighted with each new request, I questioned each invitation because obviously it was meant for someone else.
But I was reminded repeatedly that they were, in fact, for me.
And then some more invitations arrived.
For workshops, to connect with people I had no prior knowledge of (but I’m so glad I know now) and to view my writing in ways I’d never considered.
My new writing friends thought of me as a writer, so I got curious about why I was struggling with it.
Ultimately I discovered that I had to do a ‘clean-up’ of my own beliefs. The ones that were convincing me that only people with an MFA in Creative Writing, or a Ph.D. or had at least majored in English Lit. could be writers. The same beliefs that had me dismissing the supportive people around me and the effort I’m putting into improving my writing.
I can’t tell you that I’ve got it all figured out and therefore can wrap this up with a pretty bow because I’m not done yet. I’m still cleaning up… you know how things can get messier in the process, right?!
But what I can share is that this work (writing) I’m doing… even when it’s fucking messy and I don’t think I can do it… is lighting me all the way up! (And helping me process any sadness.)
And that’s enough to keep me exploring my creative process and actually telling people that I’m a writer.
AND, AND, AND!!!
It doesn’t hurt that the third piece of writing I’ve ever submitted was chosen as a runner-up in the Flash Fiction Festival October contest and will be published in an upcoming anthology!!!
Click here to see what the judge had to say about my story, “More Sludge Than Pink Popsicle Sticks” as well as the winning story, “Inside My Father’s Head” by Ali McGrane.
Fun fact: Ali, along with some other brilliant writers, gave me feedback on an earlier draft of what became “More Sludge Than Pink Popsicle Sticks”. They all nudged me to make improvements I didn’t think I was capable of. I seriously wanted to run away after getting their input. It was all kind and helpful, but again I was sure they were confusing me for an actual writer. So I decided to have fun with it and played my way through the process of writing the piece that’ll be published.
So, three cheers to cleaning up whatever mess you’re involved with at the moment. Whether it’s the turmoil a(nother) ridiculous verdict has stirred up, or you’re dealing with your own version of a dead dishwasher. I really hope you also get a chance to deal with a fun mess (like my writing!) that excites you too.
Enjoy the rest of your day.
PS. Why didn’t anyone tell me about Mythic Quest (Apple TV) before now? Initially, I couldn’t get past the first two episodes because I didn’t care for any of the characters. But learning that it had been renewed for seasons 3 AND 4 forced me to stick with it to understand why. And I’m so glad I did! It makes me laugh and get a little weepy too. Episode 5 from season 1 and episodes 6 and 7 from season 2 are some of my favourites.
PPS. This is what I looked like after learning about my runner-up placement.
